Give First Before You Think Of Taking

“Dad, how do I build a connection with someone who doesn’t know me, but I know that person can help me?”

My son posed this question to me when he was trying to reach out to someone he felt could help him with an internship.

Like my son, we all encounter situations where we need someone to help us- with some information, knowledge, connection, or skill that person may have.

No one does anything for someone else for charity unless that person is family. So, without any reciprocal benefit of some sort, there is no reason why anyone will help you.

Hence, when it comes to connecting and and taking help, there is a simple principle I have.

I start by asking myself, “What can I do for that person that will make him want to do something for me?” I look at what I can GIVE to TAKE.

To understand what I can GIVE, I need to know more about the person, and I need to figure out how I can make myself useful.

“Do I have any information that he would find useful?”
“Can I make some introductions into my network so that she can benefit?”
“I there any problem that I can help resolve.”
“Can I volunteer my time and skills to help the person?”

For someone to help me, I need to make myself worthy of being helped.

When I approach any person with an intention to serve and add value, that person would have a natural tendency to reciprocate.

Instead of giving a straight answer, this is what I told my son-“What do you have to offer that would be useful for the person you want to make a connection with?”