Recently, I was involved in a commercial negotiation where a prospective client in a new geography requested some concessions due to budget constraints. In return, they promised a long-term commercial relationship and the strategic advantage of a foothold in a new market.
With some persistent negotiation and a willingness to accommodate the client’s request, we could have achieved a positive outcome. However, during one conversation, I refused to budge. I felt the client’s expectations were unreasonable, and I saw no reason to meet their request—even though, in the context of a long-term relationship and the overall benefit of closing the deal, I could have agreed. It would have been a win-win. Instead, I let my ego get in the way, and the client, unable to justify the investment to their stakeholders, walked away. The end result was a lose-lose.
I have a simple motto. There are no failures, only lessons learned. This experience taught me an important lesson: focus on the outcome, not on being right. It’s easy to get stuck in the mindset of defending your position, but that often leads to missed opportunities. The trick is to put your energy into achieving the best possible outcome, even if it means adjusting your stance.
When evidence suggests your approach isn’t working, be willing to change it. In the case of this negotiation, the customer feedback on budgetary constraints was crystal clear, and I was stuck in an ego warp, unwilling to shift my position.
Often, the hardest thing to do is change our mind about something. We tend to bargain with reality, trying to force our own perspective rather than aligning with the way things actually work. This failed negotiation was a perfect example of that.
We’re often tempted to believe that our perspective is right simply because it’s ours. Unfortunately, this is a blinkered view, particularly when our ego is at play.
The key is to prioritize the outcome over your ego, to stay flexible, and to be willing to adjust your approach when needed. When you do, you’ll find that success is not only more achievable but also more sustainable.
Replace the need to be proven right, with the need to achieve the best outcome
Shane Parrish