It is human nature to categorize and Judge everything that comes under the scanner of our intelligence. Our intellect, represented by our ego, is busy categorizing something as good or bad, rich or poor, strong or weak, smart, or dumb. We are always judging the environment and the people around us.
We may not have played Cricket or Football. However, we have an opinion about whether someone is performing well or poorly.
We may never have taken up any assignment that requires us to lead. But, we judge someone to be a good or bad leader.
Whatever be our own flaws, we are ready to point out flaws in others to criticize and judge.
So, why do we judge others?
As humans, it’s in our wiring to compare, benchmark, and judge. We are always trying to gauge how we measure up to those around us. Comparison and the drive for status are hardwired into our nature.
Therefore, the measure we use to assess ourselves is the same as we use to evaluate others and how we assume, others evaluate us.
- Let’s say you measure your life by the value of family and relationships. You will likely evaluate others on the same yardstick. How close someone is to his family. If that person is not in touch with his family, you are very likely to judge him as ungrateful and irresponsible, regardless of how he may behave with you.
- If how much fun and socializing you are doing every weekend is a measure of value for you, you will measure others by the same standard. So if you have an acquaintance who prefers to stay at home to watch some reruns of Friends or Modern Family, you will surely judge him to be inhibited, devoid of fun and boring, regardless of his true nature or personality.
- You measure your life by the number of countries you have traveled to and experienced, you will measure others by the same standard, how worldly-wise they are. If someone prefers to stay at home and enjoys the comforts of routine, you will likely judge them as docile and unambitious, regardless of their real ambitions.
- You believe hard work and ambition are essential, you will value those traits in others. If someone lacks those traits, you will judge that person negatively.
- If you measure yourself by your intellect and use of reason, you will view everyone through the same lens.
The yardstick we use to measure our self worth becomes the yardstick we use to judge others.
You grow in your own maturity when you realize and accept that everyone has their own set of values to measure and live their life by, and those are very likely not to be the same as yours.
You value family; someone else values money and riches
You value wealth and riches; someone else values freedom and choice.
You value positivity and energy; someone else values quality and efficiency.
When every other person comes with a unique set of values that may be different from your own, there is a natural human tendency to judge. We don’t have to feel bad and think of this as something to be avoided.
We have to accept that judging and being judged are two sides of the same coin called life.