The way you see yourself is how you see others and how you assume others will see you.
If you measure your life by the value of family relationships, you will measure others by the same yardstick. How close their family is to them. If they’re distant from their family or don’t call enough, you will judge them as ungrateful and irresponsible.
You are an extrovert, and you measure your life by the amount of socializing and partying you do. And you evaluate others on the same benchmark. If they prefer to stay at home to watch some Friends’ reruns every weekend, you will judge them as being inhibited or boring regardless of their true nature.
You measure your life by how worldly-wise you are in terms of countries you have visited or traveled to. You will measure others by the same standard. If they prefer being rooted in one place and enjoy the comforts of a routine, you will judge them as unambitious and dull irrespective of what their real aspirations may be.
Similarly, the yardstick you use to measure your self worth becomes the same yardstick you use for others.
- If you believe hard work and ambition are important, you will value those traits in others. And if you see someone lacking in these traits, you will judge them as lacking ambition.
- If you pride yourself on your intelligence or creativity, you will look at others through the same lens.
- You believe in faith and a higher power. Naturally, you will judge others on their faith or lack of faith in the presence of a higher power.
- If you are a slacker, you will very likely gravitate to people who are lazy and slack off as well. You will also very probably feel threatened in the presence of hardworking and disciplined people.
Your maturity is in recognizing that everyone has their yardstick for their life. And that it is very likely to not the same as yours. What metrics others have is their choice, and it’s fine. Even if they are not the same as yours.
You value Family. Someone else values Money.
You value Money. Someone else values Freedom.
You value Freedom. Someone else values Positivity.
You value Positivity. Someone else values Efficiency.
Accept others for who they are without letting your values come in the way. Accept the differences.