It rains a lot in Kuala Lumpur, particularly in the late afternoon. My son has his cricket coaching in the evening three days a week, and when it rains, he is distraught because he does not get to do something that he loves doing.
In contrast, when it rains in the evenings, my wife is pleased. Why? Because it relieves her of the need to water the plants in the garden. For my wife, the rain is a blessing. Her beloved plants in the garden get abundant water.
Here is the irony. My wife and my kid experience two polar opposite feelings brought about by the same cause. The rain- it just is. But my wife and my son experience opposite feelings based on the meaning they assign to the same event.
This is human nature. Our emotional state is entirely a creation of our mind based on the meaning we give to every experience.
- You do not receive an invitation for a meeting or some training program. There may be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. But if you give it a negative meaning that someone is snubbing you, you will experience highly negative emotions.
- You have worked very hard at a deal, but the client reneges at the last moment, and the deal falls through. You can assign a meaning of a lesson learned or of a failure. One will make you feel neutral or positive, while the other will make you feel like you like a failure.
What you believe to be true in your mind about something is never the objective truth. It is just your perception shaped by the meaning you assign to the experience.
Whenever you find yourself hijacked by negative emotions, ask yourself this question- “Is there something positive I can take out from this situation?” This will help you neutralize some or all of your negative emotions and help you maintain a positive outlook.