- “Hey, you could have done this differently.”
- “Can I tell you something? The way you spoke to the other person was rude.”
- “I am a user of your products, and I am very upset. The quality of your products and service has deteriorated significantly.”
- ” I liked the way you dealt with the issue. However, you could have done much more. For example, you could have addressed the concerns head-on instead of deflecting them.”
- “Can I give you feedback? I think you are wasting your time pursuing this strategy. It will lead to a dead end.”
What is a common thread in all these statements?
They are all forms of feedback, even though only the last statement directly references giving feedback.
Unfortunately, for many of us, feedback is something that intimidates us. We bring up our defenses because it threatens our sense of wellbeing. A feedback always points to some problem, some issue. Instead of taking it in our stride, we argue back, we try to justify, and we make it look like the person giving feedback is being unfair.
Now, let’s look at this from the perspective of the individuals giving you some feedback. They are taking an emotional risk to tell you something, knowing that it could make you unhappy or uncomfortable. Why? Because they care !! They care enough to take the effort to tell you something they believe will help you get better.
Sometimes the feedback is packaged nicely. Many times it may be conveyed in a tone you don’t like. No matter how it is said, feedback is a GIFT. People give you the gift of feedback because they trust you and want you to improve.
After you receive the gift, it’s up to you to accept it or not.
But if you become defensive and behave in an ungrateful manner, the people giving you feedback will stop caring, and more importantly, they will stop trusting you. They will transfer their trust to people who are open and receptive to feedback. You don’t want that.
The right way to acknowledge feedback is with a “Thank You ” or “That’s good feedback” or ” Can you help me by being more specific.”
A feedback indicates the possibility of an issue or a problem that if you fix can help you improve and grow . Don’t let your defensiveness hijack you from acknowledging the possibility of a problem being there.
You are always better off dealing with the problem than denying it.