It’s funny how we process different events differently. Something good happens, and we are eager to take credit.
“I worked very hard for this,” or
“This tested the limits of my skills, but I am glad I could execute well.”
In contrast, if something negative happens, we are eager to assign blame to some external factor.
- “It wasn’t my fault I was late for the meeting. The traffic was bad,” or
- “It’s not my fault I lost money. I got the wrong stock tip from a friend.”.
- “It’s not my fault I didn’t have the skills to do the job and was laid off. They should have trained me.”
It’s hard to admit, but most things in our lives, good and bad, are always our doing, our fault. The sooner we come to peace with this truth, the better. If we are always willing and ready to accept the good, equally we should be comfortable taking responsibility for the bad too.
Maybe the right thing to say would be something like this.
- “Sorry, I should have planned better to account for the traffic. I should have left home earlier.”
- “Wow, that investment blew up! There’s a lot I don’t understand. It might be worthwhile for me to commit time to learn the basics of investing.”
- “My layoff happened because I failed to make myself indispensable. I won’t let that happen again.”