The optimal solution to being independent and upright while remaining a social animal is: to seek first your own self-respect and, secondarily and conditionally, that of others, provided your external image does not conflict with your own self-respect. Most people get it backwards and seek the admiration of the collective and something called “a good reputation” at the expense of self-worth for, alas, the two are in frequent conflict under modernity.
Nassim Taleb
It is really tough being independent and true to yourself in today’s world when there are so many pulls and pressures that keep challenging your core values. There is one big lesson I have learned from all my experiences. It is essential to prioritize your own good opinion over any external validation. If you have to choose between looking good to others and feeling good about yourself, choose the latter. That said, if your feeling good about yourself stems from looking good to others, it is not sustainable or practical.
There have been many situations in my career where I have done things that were at odds with my own value system, and even though others appreciated and rewarded me, I felt miserable internally. Balance was restored only when I prioritized my own values over what others wanted me to do, even if it meant putting myself in uncomfortable situations with those who wanted me to act in a certain way.
Today, I know that a good reputation built on compromising your values is fragile. True self-respect, on the other hand, is what makes you strong.