When things aren’t working with others, we rarely look at ourselves first.
A colleague is difficult. A client is unresponsive. A conversation keeps going nowhere. The instinct is to diagnose the other person. Their attitude, their priorities, their problem.
But before you go there, try a different set of questions.
Is it working for anyone else? Is there someone in a similar situation who is building relationships, getting responses, and moving things forward? If yes, the problem is probably not the situation.
Then ask yourself two harder questions.
What story am I telling the world through my actions, my words, my behavior?
And what story am I telling myself about why this isn’t working?
Most of the time, when something isn’t working in our interactions with others, we are more culpable than we are willing to admit.
The troubleshooting starts closer to home than we think. Start by honestly assessing your own actions and mindset. Ask yourself what you might change to improve these interactions.