Two Circles

There is a simple idea from “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” that I keep coming back to.

Picture a large circle that holds everything you care about. The economy, the competition, what others think of you, decisions made far above you, how a difficult person behaves. Call it your circle of concern.

Now picture a smaller circle inside it. This holds only the things you can actually do something about. Your effort, your choices, how you respond, the work in front of you. Call it your circle of influence.

Most of our stress comes from spending our energy in the wrong circle.

We stew over the economy, the politics, the decision we did not make, the person we cannot change. All real, all worth caring about, and almost none of it within our power to move. The more we pour ourselves into that outer ring, the more helpless we feel.

Here is the part worth noticing.

When you focus on your circle of influence, it grows. Do your own work well, and people trust you with more. Control your own response, and situations that once rattled you no longer do. Your influence quietly expands.

But when you fixate on your circle of concern, your influence shrinks. The energy spent worrying is energy not spent acting. You become smaller in exactly the areas where you could have become larger.

So the discipline is simple, though not easy.

Spend less time on what you cannot change. Pour yourself into what you can.

Your influence grows in the direction of your attention.