Don’t Jump To Problem- Solve

There are times when I jump into solution mode when someone(especially my kids)brings a problem to me. 

I erroneously assume that they are bringing the problem to me because they need me to offer a solution. Unfortunately, this can feel patronizing and irritating for them.

Being a trained coach, I also know what the right approach is. Sadly, I struggle with it.

Instead of assuming that the person needs a solution from me, I should actually be clarifying what it is they need from me.

What is the best way I can help you here?

Do you need me to

• Give you a listening ear so that you can get the issue out of your system?

Or

• Do you need me to problem-solve the issue for you?

Or

• Do you need me to brainstorm the issue with you?

Clarifying this upfront ensures that I am helping out in the way the other person needs me to.