Don’t Be A Victim

This is a powerful lesson on empathy and the victim mindset I came across in the book “Hit reset” by Satya Nadella, the CEO of Microsoft.

Satya Nadella’s first child Zain who is 21 years old, was born with Cerebral Palsy, and he explains in the book about how he dealt with the issue.

During birth, the baby suffered from an undetected case of
in-utro asphyxiation, resulting in severe brain damage and born a quadriplegic.

For the first couple of years after his son was born, Satya Nadella’s mindset was, “Why did this happen to my wife and me. What happened to us. My life has got complicated etc.” He was in a state of denial, operating with a victim mentality.

Fortunately, his wife was able to guide him through this sensitive and challenging period in their life. His wife made him realize something important.

Nothing happened to Satya Nadella. Whatever happened, happened to his son Zain. More than him, it was the child who was in pain and distress. Therefore, he had to look beyond his own feelings and see life through his child’s eyes and do his duty as a father. He discovered the power of empathy when he decided to see life from the perspective of his son.

Satya Nadella realized that he was no victim. Empathy had liberated him. He knew he had the power to stay strong and take responsibility for taking care of his child.

Whenever we encounter any pain in life, there is a tendency to get stuck into a victim mentality. We feel entitled to things like love, money, safety, respect, etc., while absolving ourselves of any and all responsibility in the matter. We get into a vicious cycle of blaming circumstances, making excuses, not taking responsibility, and operating with an “its not my fault” mindset.

When you take responsibility for your life, you take ownership of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You design life on your terms because you know that you have the power to create your reality.

The moment you stop blaming the world is when you liberate yourself from being a victim. Life starts working in your favor because you chose to show up for yourself.