Your Tone Matters
May 28, 2020
Becoming effective in communication is a significant area of personal development for me. Why do I say this?
The real test of good communication is not when things are relaxed and comfortable. It is how one communicates in a situation of conflict and challenge that determines whether one is an effective communicator.
I must confess, I don’t give myself very good marks here. I tend to communicate through instincts.
When I am angry or upset, the tone of what I have to say is loaded with anger and contempt.
When I am irritated, the irritation in my voice is apparent to the person I am conversing with.
When I am frustrated, the tone I use shows that I am frustrated.
What is worse, sometimes, I am not even aware of how I am conversing. I think I am speaking normally, but the other person can sense my underlying emotions.
Effective communication also involves the art of using the right tone irrespective of the situation. The world around us is like a mirror—people respond in the same way we interact with them. If I start with a tone of anger or irritation, I get back anger and irritation as a response from the other side. If I communicate in a pleasant tone, the conversation is pleasant.
I will become a high-quality communicator only when I can have mastery over my communication tone.
I should be able to convey my anger or irritation without getting angry or irritated. That is when I can say I have improved in my communication.