Own My Growth

Helping folks with practical tips to manage themselves better

Loss Of A Friend

loss of a friend

A week back a young friend of mine passed away after a brave battle with cancer.

When I got the news, I was in shock and denial. “No, it can’t be. He was far too young to pass away like this “

Then, as the news started sinking in, something strange happened. I started feeling a gnawing sense of shame and guilt. “My young friend was going through so much pain, and I was not even aware of it. What kind of a friend am I that I did not even know what was happening in the life of someone so dear. How could I have been so preoccupied in my own affairs to not have been in touch.”

I was distraught and heartbroken. I needed to speak to some friends and share my feelings of guilt and shame. So I reached out to two very dear and common friends. Both of them strangely shared the same sentiments even though they were both in close touch with this young friend who was going through the pain of cancer. One said, “I feel so guilty, I should have spent more time with him, but I could not bear to see him in pain.” The other friend said, ” I feel so bad. I should have had a heart-to-heart chat with him, knowing the battle he was going through.”

The mist cleared in my mind. We all process the grief of someone’s passing from our own perspective. Instead of feeling bad and wallowing in my shame and guilt, I got into an acceptance mode. I should have been in touch, but I was not and I cannot unwind that. I have to live with this regret. But for now, I can only grieve the loss of my friend and celebrate the life he lived. Rest in peace my friend. I will miss you.

Reminder to myself- Don’t be so busy to lose touch with those who are dear to you. 

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