Own My Growth

Helping folks with practical tips to manage themselves better

Attachment, Detachment & Giving

Life is strange. Whenever I get attached to something desperately, it has a way of getting away from me.

  • I am desperate for the purchase order – something or the other comes in the way. Things get delayed.
  • I want to get home early to catch the game if cricket. Traffic will find a way to get me delayed.
  • I am expecting some good news call – I keep waiting and getting anxious. No call comes forth.
  • I want my portfolio value to go up desperately. The performance deteriorates.
  • I want my boss to appreciate me. The appreciation never comes.

Whenever I am involved or emotionally attached to any outcome, I create an energy that pushes it away. My desire for the outcome and the outcome are like the like poles of 2 magnets repelling each other.

If I am not attached to something, I can say I am detached. (It’s important to make a distinction here. Detachment is not disinterest.)

I see value , I am engaged. I plan , I prepare carefully, I execute as per plan. After that I just relax and get on with my life. I know if I have put in the right effort, results will happen.

  • I have done the best I can. The results should be in my favor. If not, I will know what I could have done better.
  • I know I deserve the promotion. I will get it.  I am not worried about when.
  • I have a long term investment goal. I know I have invested mindfully. I will not worry about the short term fluctuations.

When I am detached, I am more likely to get the outcome I want. Even if it does not happen the way I want, I am still ok. My intrinsic state of mind is not linked the outcome in any way.

Detachment is like a magnetic force that can attract something. How powerful the magnetic force is determined by the effort. The more effort and excellence I put in and the more detached I am, the more likely I am to attract an outcome I desire.

The ultimate form of detachment is Giving. If I desire something , I give it away!! I get more of what I want when I give some of it away.

  •  When I want affection , I give out affection.
  • When I help others, others help me.
  • When I appreciate more, I get appreciation in return.
  • When I am generous, others are generous with me.

When I am unattached, I am comfortable parting with whatever it may be. What I am comfortable giving away tends to come back to me.  Taking the magnetism analogy, my willingness to give out what I desire and my desire are like the opposite poles of 2 magnets attracting each other.

In a nutshell, when I am detached, more happens. When I get too attached to things, people or money, less happens.

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