Own My Growth

Helping folks with practical tips to manage themselves better

Don’t Say “It’s Not Fair”

Whether in our personal life or a professional setting, we often encounter situations where decisions involving us, are taken. Some of those decisions we like and some we don’t. For the ones we don’t, we sometimes say “it’s not fair.”

We become defensive and say “it’s not fair” when a decision is contrary to our expectations. We whine about the decision, and we convince ourselves that we are right, and the person who makes the decision is wrong.

  • You were expecting a promotion, and you got passed over in favor of someone-You say, “it’s not fair.”
  • Having worked incredibly hard on a proposal, you expect the order to be in your favor. However, the client favors a competitor and you say, “it’s not fair.”
  • You think you did very well on the exam. But, your professor thinks otherwise and awards you a C instead of an A and your reaction-“it’s not fair.”

Anyone who makes the decision has the power to make the decision. There is nothing fair or unfair in a decision. When we say “it’s unfair,” we are just judging the decision-maker.

The decision-making process is like a sales process. The decision-maker is like a customer, and your job is to influence the decision-maker to decide in your favor. If the decision is not to your liking, then it means that you failed in convincing the decision-maker to rule in your favor. Judging the decision and saying, “it’s not fair” creates no value and only colors your emotions.

In life, you will always come across someone who will be ahead of you and in a position to decide about matters impacting you in some way. It could be a Teacher, Boss, Customer, Investor, etc., and they will make some decisions that you feel are not to your liking. Don’t whine. Don’t say, “it’s not fair”. Instead, ask yourself what you could have done differently so that the decision could have come in your favor.

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