The Secret To Having Great Relationships

What is the secret to having positive and trusting relationships? Here is a mental model I always refer to whenever I feel a touch of stress coming into my active relationships.

Go into any relationship looking at what you can give instead of what you would like to receive.

When you go into a relationship looking at what the other person can do for you, you are always at the mercy of the other person for the relationship to be on even keel. If the other person does what you want, you are happy, and if not, you become unhappy. No matter the type of relationship- It could be a family member, a teammate, a colleague, or a friend- Unwittingly, you end up becoming clingy and demanding about the relationship.

“If I can work on weekends, why can’t he?”

“She used to respond to my messages immediately. Why has she changed?”

“Why should I be the person doing all the work when you are not doing anything?”

“Why should I be the person always calling him? He never calls.”

To avoid getting caught up with my own demanding expectations, I find It is beneficial to remind myself, ” What can I do right now, where I can contribute to creating a positive relationship,”

• Maybe I need to keep my thoughts to myself and listen instead of passing my judgment.
• Instead of looking at what’s wrong, what can I appreciate in the other person.
• How can I lend a helping hand? 

You want to enjoy great trusting relationships-take the lead in giving.