People Follow Incentives

I watch people make the same mistake all the time. Junior and senior alike.

They walk into a conversation trying to persuade someone, armed with logic. Here is why I am right. Here is what you should do. Here is my advice. And they walk out frustrated when nothing moves.

Because people do not follow advice. They follow incentives. What’s in it for me?

It does not matter how sound your reasoning is or how right you are. If the other person cannot see what is in it for them, your argument lands on deaf ears. Not because they are difficult, but because that is how people work. We all act in our own interest, whether we admit it or not.

So the real skill in persuasion is not building a better argument. It is reframing your viewpoint as a win for the other side.

Stop asking, “How do I convince them I am right?”

Start thinking about “what does this give them that they actually want.”

You are saying the same thing. You are just saying it in a way they can say yes to. Figure that out, and people come around. Miss it, and you can be right all day and still get nowhere.