Stop Resisting-Start Accepting

Some days I feel like I am in an emotional roller-coaster dealing with situations that upset my balance and sense of well-being.

I used to think that my emotional state was dependent on “someone” or “something.” But after distilling wisdom from multiple sources, I have realized that it is my own doing.

How I process the stimulation coming from “someone” or “something” defines whether I feel positive or negative.

• My son is working on an assignment. I don’t appreciate the approach my son is taking, and I get all judgmental and upset. Instead, if I had accepted the fact that my son is entitled to his thinking and he will learn based on his own experience, I would have felt neutral or indifferent.

• I commit a mistake. I want to protect my image. Instead of accepting the error, I try to brazen it out. Now, I am fearful that I will get caught out. Instead, if I had accepted the fact that I made a mistake, I would have felt lighter and not feel guilty or fearful.

• I have a history with an old acquaintance who broke my trust. I could never come to terms with how he could do something like that. I felt hurt and vengeful. Recently I got to know that he was in some personal crisis. Suddenly the old memories did not retain any meaning. I accepted that anyone could make a mistake and moved on. I pray for his well-being. There is no more hurt anywhere.

• The markets tanked 30% in the last 45 days, and my investments are in the red. I am feeling very anxious. I realize that I cannot do anything now except wait for the markets to turn. I come across an Investment expert view that indicates that the probability of recovery and a pullback is >90% if I have an investment horizon. I accept the situation, knowing I have no control. I am no longer feeling anxious.

When I resist (non-acceptance) something or someone, I inevitably experience negative emotions.

By the same token, when I am in a state of acceptance about something or someone, I am in a positive emotional state.

Being upset, being fearful, feeling vengeful, feeling anxious- these are all negative emotions that disturb my mindset. I should not give anything in my life the exalted status that it can disrupt my peace. Whenever I am in the throes of negative emotion, I should ask myself what it is that I am resisting and not accepting because of which I feel disturbed.

The moment I identify who or what is disturbing me and accept it for what it is, I will immediately see a definite shift in my emotional state. When I replace resistance with acceptance, all negative emotions will turn into neutral or positive emotions. Personal accountability starts with not blaming “something” or “someone” and taking responsibility to maintain a positive mindset with acceptance.