Getting Someone To Trust You

How do I become better at getting someone to trust me? This is a question I often get asked by many of my young mentees.

Much of what I do unconsciously today when engaging with others, I learned from reading the book “It’s Not All About ME” by Robin Dreeke many years back.

Here’s a simple yet powerful lesson I extracted from the book, one that has become my guiding principle:

Look at when you feel good in the presence of someone and try to replicate that experience when engaging with others.

Feeling good in the company of others often boils down to two scenarios:

• When you feel unconditionally accepted for who you are without judgment. 

• When you feel safe to share your views, fears, and dreams without reservation.

Understanding these two triggers prompts a crucial question: Can you activate the same positive emotions in the person you aim to build a trusting relationship with?

For me, the answer lies in a deliberate approach. I consciously speak to the other person’s interests and priorities, validating them non-judgmentally. It’s a practice I consistently follow to create an environment where the other person feels unconditionally accepted and free to express himself.

While some possess this skill naturally, for most, including myself, it needs to be consciously worked upon. It’s a learned proficiency that, with practice, eventually becomes second nature.