Inefficiency By Thousand Cuts

“Did you cancel the subscription?”

This was possibly the nth reminder from my wife.

A couple of years back, I was very interested in following some Technology related trends and I registered with an online content platform. My interests since have shifted and I am no longer following this content. However, every month there is an direct debit of  $30 for the subscription I had taken. My wife was aware of this and being the more disciplined one, she has been tracking me to have the subscription cancelled, since I was no longer consuming any content from there.

Over $300 of accrued payments have been made over the last 10 odd months. I have neither accessed the content nor have I cancelled the subscription.

“What’s the fun in trying to earn in thousands when you are leaking the pennies”- My wife is clearly exasperated with me.

As I am writing this , I am wondering what is it that is holding me back from doing something as simple as this? There is some self talk hinting that the process of cancelling the subscription is complicated, I have forgotten the password, I have been very busy. 

I know none of this is true and there is no justification or excuse for my inaction. I just have to do it.

” Is there any meaning in pursuing big goals if I am faltering at the small tasks?”

Introspection leads to insight – insight leads to clarity- clarity leads to intentional action.

I just took a break from writing this Blog-  I logged into the site, reset my password, located the subscription tab and cancelled the subscription – 8 minutes is all it took !!

This is but one example of the many small issues which are all waiting for me to take some action.

Compiling the expense bills to raise my T&E claims, the phone call from an acquaintance that needs to be returned, purchasing the special batteries for a remote, cleaning my work desk at home, organizing the data on my computer, the list goes on….

These issues are not big enough to cause pain but they are all there as open windows in the back of mind, not getting closed and piling up a gnawing sense of guilt and mild frustration. They are like the proverbial thousand cuts that have the potential to drain me of the power to achieve my big goals. I need to take some action.

Having the honesty to admit that I have a problem that needs to be fixed – This is a great start point for any change to happen. I am feeling good about this, already. I know I have a problem and I also know I have the power to make the change. What exactly needs to change, I will figure that out.

This is how I deal with all my issues. Something triggers my thinking, challenging me to make a change and grow. I introspect. I develop an awareness of what is holding me back. I develop a plan and I take action.

My goal- Become efficient in dealing with the small stuff that i don’t “feel” like doing and increase my power to go after the big goals.