Grow Beyond The Image

When you are in a relationship with someone, you form an image of that person in your mind. For some time, the person’s actions and the image of the person you have in your head are in synch.

Over time, everyone changes and evolves. You evolve, you change, and so do the people you are in a relationship with. At some point, the person you have known does something in contrast with the image you have formed in your mind. And, you struggle with reconciling between the person’s actions and the image you have of that person in your mind.

• Your kid was all docile and obedient, but through the teenage years, he changes. He challenges you, demands equal accountability. Instead of recognizing that your kid has matured and grown-up, you wonder why he is behaving the way he is and what you have done wrong.
• Your colleague, a very dear friend, grows through the ranks and takes on a bigger role that puts him in a situation where he cannot be as open and transparent as he was in the past. Instead of acknowledging that his position has changed and empathizing with him, you gripe about him behaving differently with you. You start judging him.
• You and your spouse evolve as kids and responsibilities grow. But instead of recognizing this change, you expect your partner to behave and operate the same way as when you first got into the relationship. 

This is the irony. We all fall in love with the image of a person instead of the person. And, we get stuck with the expectations we have of that image in our head.