Ready To Help Yourself ?
February 18, 2023
No one can help you if you are not ready to help yourself. Are you ready to help yourself?
This is the question I asked a young colleague a few years back.
This person wanted my support to help him improve his communication skills. So I did a few one on one mentoring sessions with him. I also introduced him to my Toastmasters group so that he could have access to a safe learning environment.
However, nothing much changed. The person receded into the background without keeping in touch. I got to know that after a couple of sessions, he dropped out of the Toastmasters group too.
When I met him again after a few months, he was apologetic- ” I am sorry, I got busy at work,” he said as if he owed me something. It was, after all, his desire to improve and become better.
That is when I made the point about helping himself.
He was not ready to help himself. He had access to the right resources but was unwilling to commit the time and effort to practice and improve. I realized he had very little drive from within to learn and grow. Instead, his desire to improve was driven by external factors (need to get promoted, job requirements, etc.), which is why he gave up the pursuit so quickly.
Therefore, today, whenever anyone asks me for help, the first point I make is — “how strong is your desire to improve. Are you ready to commit discretionary time to develop yourself?”
People will naturally be inclined to help you if they see in you the spark and willingness to improve. If they see that you are ready to help yourself !!