Own My Growth

Helping folks with practical tips to manage themselves better

Emotional Intelligence

emotional intelligence

A Human Emotion is a mental state that arises spontaneously in every human being without any conscious effort and often comes with some physiological change. Emotions are also subjective.  

What triggers emotions in you will be different from what triggers emotions in someone else.

Know Your Emotional Triggers

A sign of emotional intelligence and maturity is to know what triggers our emotional world. Below are three of my emotional triggers.

  • I know that I get irritated when I interact with people who think they know all.
  • I know I get angry when someone shows a lack of accountability or is intellectually dishonest.
  • I know I get upset when dealing with a stressful situation when certain things are not going as per plan.

Having A Feeling And Acting On A Feeling Are Different

To avoid the pitfall of reacting when we are in the grip of any emotions, we need to understand that there is a difference between having a feeling and having an action. What does this mean?

  • When I am irritated, I can feel the emotion of irritation but saying something harsh to the other person because of my annoyance is the action.
  • When I am angry, I can feel anger, but aggression is an action or behavior that I show because of the feeling of anger.
  • When I am upset, I can feel a sense of unhappiness, but becoming moody and withdrawn is the behavior that I demonstrate because of being upset.

Emotional Intelligence

Being aware of my emotional triggers does not help reduce the emotions I experience. Emotions are spontaneous, triggered by my Limbic Brain and millions of evolutionary memories. However, my actions are different. Thankfully, if I know what triggers my negative emotions and what I tend to do as a result of those emotions. Therefore, I can decide beforehand how I will behave differently.

My actions are a choice. I don’t need to re”act” to my emotions. I can step back and take a deep breath without acting out on the raging emotions and feelings I encounter.

Emotional intelligence is our ability to make healthy behavior choices based on accurately identifying, understanding, and managing our feelings.

One can never tire of referring to this powerful message by Viktor E. Frankl

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

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