Own My Growth

Helping folks with practical tips to manage themselves better

Don’t Resist What-IS, Accept !!


You have to accept What-Is before you can move forward.

Imagine you are hiking with a friend in the mountains, and both of you are lost. You pull your map out, and when you look at the trail markers, you realize you are 10 miles off course from where you are supposed to be. Now, instead of accepting that you are 10 miles off course, what would happen if you get into an argument with your friend about whose mistake it is and how he was not careful? Both of you would be stuck, and you will not be able to get yourself back on course.

Getting lost on a hiking trail is a good analogy for many of the challenges or challenging situations we encounter in our lives. Instead of accepting any situation for What IT IS, we spend all our energy thinking about why something has happened, how we could have avoided it, how someone else or something else has contributed to the situation at hand.

To make progress, we must first accept the reality of What-IS the current state. Many of us lose our capacity to deal with our challenges effectively because we struggle to accept What-IS. We spend all our energy resisting what has happened, thinking about how we could have prevented something that has already happened.

But why do many of us struggle with accepting What-IS when we encounter a challenging situation?

Because it makes us feel miserable, lousy and we don’t like feeling that way. So, instead of coming to terms with the reality of What IS, we take refuge in playing the victim, blaming circumstances or others, thinking it will deflect us from feeling miserable. We resist.

All because we don’t want to accept how we feel !!

Here’s the thing. Once we accept any situation for What IS, even if it feels miserable, we will see a whole new set of possibilities that we did not see before. We get to see the silver lining in even the most challenging situations.

Let me share a personal example. A few years back, I had just taken possession of a brand new car, and I was driving out for a meeting with an important stakeholder when I got into an accident. A motorist driving on the wrong side of the road banged into the side of my car. First day-my brand new car was damaged, and it was not my fault. 

Why is this happening to me? I can’t make it in time for the meeting? How can the motorist drive on the wrong side– all kinds of thoughts were swirling in my head, and I was angry and miserable. Thankfully, as I stepped out of my car and saw the dent on the side, I realized there was very little I could do. The damage was done. 

The moment I accepted the situation for what it was, I actually started feeling a sense of relief. Thank god the accident was nothing fatal. Thank god I was not driving very fast. Thank god that the motorist and I were both safe. 

The anger dissipated, and I could focus on what I had to do next.

Think of this as a mental model-You have to accept What-Is before you can move forward.

Whenever you get stuck in any challenging situation that leaves you feeling miserable, fearful, or uncertain, learn to accept the reality of What IS instead of resisting and wasting your emotional energy on something that has already happened. The moment you come to terms with your reality, you will be able to direct all your emotional energy to focus on What to do NOW. This is the only way you can move forward.

You can also refer to another post where I have written about Developing An Attitude Of Acceptance.

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