Who Is In Charge?

Do you control your emotions, or do they control you?

Most of us assume we are in charge. The evidence often says otherwise.

You are angry, and you send a text, and then wish you could unsend it. You are anxious, and you talk yourself out of an opportunity you were completely ready for. You are feeling low, and you cancel plans, go quiet, and pull away from the very people who would have lifted you up.

Look closely at those moments. The emotion made the decision. You just carried it out.

I am sure most of us have done all of these at some point. Sent the message. Ducked the opportunity. Gone quiet on people. And usually the regret arrives a few hours later, when the emotion has passed, and we are left looking at what it decided for us.

The skill is in learning to catch the feeling as it happens. Naming it. I am angry right now. I am anxious right now. It sounds almost too simple. But something about naming it creates a small pause. And in that pause, you get a say.

Emotions will keep coming. That is not in our hands.

Whether they get to decide things for us. That part is.