Take Responsibility For Your Relationships

It is a law of nature that there is friction when two or more things come into contact. It does not matter how smooth one object is. If the other object is rough, both the objects will experience the heat of friction in equal measure.

This same law of nature applies in human relationships too. When two or more people engage and interact, there is always some friction. In the case of physical objects, the friction comes from the surfaces coming into contact. In humans, the equivalent of a surface is the ego. When two people interact, they do so through their egos (there can be no other way), and there will always be some friction. 

Unfortunately, often, we don’t pay attention to this simple law of nature. 

We think relationships will all be ok by default. And when we encounter some problems, we are taken by surprise. 

We get into blaming the other person for causing the strain in the relationship. We get into judgment or victim mode. We want the other person to change so that the friction can come down. We think the problem in the relationship is always with the other person.

Take Responsibility For Your Relationships

Coming to terms with this simple law of human nature is essential- There will always be some friction when two or more people interact and engage. 

When you accept this fact, you can begin taking responsibility for managing your relationship with others.

Instead of trying to change the other person, you focus on what you can do to smoothen the interaction. You recognize that focusing on what you can do means focusing on managing your ego because that is what is causing friction when it rubs against the other person’s ego. You learn to subdue your ego not because you want to be the lesser person or the weaker person but because all that matters is that the relationship’s friction is reduced.

Paradoxically, the lesser your ego is, the smoother your relationships with others will be. 

A car needs to humble itself from a higher gear to a lower gear if it encounters resistance and friction. It cannot be arrogant, saying I will not move to a lower gear. What will happen if it says that? The car will stall.

The process of moving the gears of your ego down is the process of taking responsibility for your relationships. 

Let your ego not convince you otherwise. It’s always your responsibility.