Criticize The Work, Not The Worker

Criticize the work, not the worker. This is easy to say but, unsurprisingly, very difficult to do.

From when we were kids, criticism has been personalized for all of us.

Why did you do this wrong thing? Why did you get such low marks? I don’t like your behavior, etc.

With our base conditioning, we get defensive when someone at work tries to give feedback. It feels like an instant threat. No wonder many fear the one-on-ones with the boss, the weekly check-ins, or the pointed comment by a colleague in a business review.

As a parent, whenever my kids did something wrong that I did not like, I would be very careful about how I conveyed my displeasure.

I am not happy with that thing you did. I am not unhappy with you. 

I would make it a point to distinguish between the action and the person. (though not successfully all the time. My kids had an innate ability to trigger me easily. 🙂

How would this look in the workplace?

I am not happy with the DELAY in the submission despite multiple reminders. Can you fast-track it, please? 

But, unfortunately, what actually slips out?

I am not happy. Despite multiple reminders, YOU have not submitted the proposal. Please buck up and submit it asap to avoid any consequences.

Being able to give feedback and criticize without getting personal and focusing on the work instead of the person is a crucial skill for anyone aiming to step up as a leader. Make it about the work, not the worker.