Anger- Fear In Disguise

I’m currently on my year-end break. I usually dedicate this time to reflect on the past year, contemplate my behaviors, and identify areas for learning and improvement as I enter the new year.

One aspect that I’ve identified for improvement is in the context of anger. Not the aggressive kind that impacts others (Thankfully, I don’t suffer that kind of anger anymore) but the internal anger – those irritable thoughts triggered when someone does something I don’t like. While I manage to keep these thoughts from turning into angry behavior, it’s not ideal. Why should I harbor angry thoughts at all? Can’t I do better and eliminate them?

Reflecting on this, I had a profound realization today. Anger is fear in disguise, masquerading as a sign of superiority. Something I fear gets triggered by external factors or behaviors, and angry thoughts break out. This then sparks an internal struggle and dialogue to manage those angry thoughts and prevent them from overflowing into angry behavior. Therefore, if I could figure out a way to identify and define my fears, I could perhaps find a way to nip my angry thoughts at the source.

I am excited about the possibility. Any change happens only when there is action. I need to capture my fears in words and pinpoint what triggers them. When I consciously articulate and define my unconscious worries, they will lose their triggering impact.