Trust First

In my early forties, a colleague from our leadership team gave me feedback that hit hard: “I don’t think you’re trustworthy. You’re always on the fence, shifting your views with the wind. Others in the team also feel the same way.”

It felt like a punch to the gut. I saw myself as honorable and reliable, and this perception shook me deeply. With the help of a personal coach, I went through some introspection and uncovered something fundamental: trust isn’t something you earn by waiting—it’s something you give first.

The people I admired most didn’t hold back on trust. They didn’t demand proof or say, “Show me you’re trustworthy through your actions.” Instead, they made others feel capable, valued, and confident. They extended trust freely, creating an environment where trust naturally flourished.

This was an “aha” realization for me. By treating others as trustworthy from the outset, you naturally inspire trustworthiness in return. It is about not being glib and duplicitous and saying something on the face but feeling something different inside. It’s about humility—resisting the urge to appear bigger or better than the other person and making the person feel valued.

This idea seems simple, but it isn’t. You don’t earn trust by waiting for others to bestow it on you. You earn it by giving it first.