Embrace Wu Wei

This happened about a week ago.

I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to cars zooming by. I had no idea how long I had been in that state, but it must have been a few hours at least. Go to sleep, I told myself. I shut my eyes tight, forced my body to relax, and waited for the blissful slumber. But nothing happened. Minutes turned into hours, and still, nothing happened. It was close to 4 a.m., and I was wide awake.

I’m sure many of us have been in this situation. Try as you might, it is nearly impossible to consciously will yourself to sleep. Sleep comes easily only when you let your mind wander and focus on anything other than sleep itself. Count backward from a hundred, focus on your breathing, listen to soothing music, or find something else—anything that distracts your mind from the desire to sleep.

Aldous Huxley famously coined this phenomenon the “law of reversed effort.”

He said, “The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent unknown quantity may take hold.”

This law of reversed effort applies to all aspects of life.

• You’re working on a proposal, and no matter how hard you try, the flow just isn’t there.

• You’re pursuing a prospect for a deal, but the more you push, the farther away the deal seems to be.

• You’re trying very hard to land a new job, but it keeps eluding you.

There are always moments in our lives when we encounter issues, challenges, and bottlenecks. Apart from the obvious good days, we also encounter some bad days(sometimes prolonged) . In those moments when we obsessively ruminate and keep run things over in our heads, we get more stressed.

From experience, I have learned that we can only do one thing in these situations.

Wu Wei–Learn To Let Go

There is actually a spiritual Daoist concept called Wu Wei.

Wu Wei, loosely translated, means letting go. It’s about not forcing it. It’s about trusting that there is a higher power guiding us to do what we need to do. We can also call it gut feeling, intuition, fate, or a divine calling. We stop obsessing over what we think is right, and allow ourselves to be guided by something else.

So, whenever I find myself feeling stuck, I embrace the idea of Wu Wei. I let go and let things flow. And then, magically, things get unstuck and move in my favor.